Between the Light and Dark Side

In the course of things Trever landed himself in a compound dedicated to training young Force Sensitive children for the Empire as well the home of a Dark Jedi (and currently former master) Kree'sha. Kree'sha was preforming experiments on the children trying to create different kinds of Force sensitives. Trever discovered that he and his Twin Kale were the result of some of these experiments and that their family was part of a long term Sith experiment.

What Trever would like to do, and requires help with, is going back to the compound and rescuing the children and then blowing it up to kingdom come.

Feet up on his desk, Trever tapped the data pad holding his entire family's information that Akay found. Their entire lineage. Every last bit of data that said they were some freakish genetic experiment for the dark side. And he knew his ancestor too. An ancestor who wanted nothing to do with him, with them, and neither did his father.

All because of Kale's fuck up, slashing Revan with a lightsaber in a probably lucky shot. Probably, because Kale did have Revan and Tobais' memories on how to fight. Still, one hit shouldn't screwed things up like that. Probably Carcer... or probably because Revan just was like that. All because of his dad's fuck up, not doing something about Kale's pyschometry, not shutting it off completely or... something. All because of Kree'sha's meddling with him and Kale. Making them freaks of nature.

He shifted a little, turning on the pad, looking through all the names and dates and notes. Three thousand years... Four thousand years. All... because someone wanted to create a damn line of Force users from one of the most powerful known Force users of the time.

Revan said he killed Bastilla, the mother of their line. But the multiverse was funny like that because the Delvars still existed. Their linage passed down from Dark sider to Dark sider, always tweaking. He sighed and put the pad down.

Trever felt like he should put a stop to this. Let the Delvars stop being an experiment and do whatever it was that normal families did as generations went by.

To do that, of course, would require going back to Kree'sha's strong hold and destroying the computer systems... and her. But there were those kids there... and others who didn't deserve to die. Still, he needed to do something.

Maybe shut down the systems and... well get rid of Kree'sha some how. But not kill her, he thought. It would be better if she suffered as much as he did. As much as Kale did.

Poor Kale, having been driven away from his family, unsure of who and what he was. Trever hoped he'd come back soon. He doubted it. Soul searching took a long time. Trever wondered if they had a soul. They must. But it was broken with Kale being rent from the Force. And if he touched it again, even the echo, they'd try to kill him. And Darth Nihilus would try and take him.

The question became really, was revenge worth it?

Trever held Kale, stroking his hair and kissing his forehead. Kale didn't do anything really, not cry or scream or get angry. He just let Trever hold him, breathing softly. Trever didn't say anything. He knew he didn't need to say anything. He knew that saying anything wouldn't do anything. He knew Kale like he knew himself, and right then Kale needed to be held. They hadn't told anyone yet.

They'd have to, eventually. He supposed their father already knew. He supposed his father knew for a while. Not that it matter. Their father wouldn't have told them one way or the other.

The question then became, what to do?

Kale had him. But not really.

And Kale wouldn't go back to their family. Despite what Tobias said. Kale felt too outside from them. Lost from the Force.

So, he just held Kale and thought about nothing. Trying to figure out what to do would come later.

Because cats are like that, Veena grabbed Trever's sock as he was trying to put it on. A chase, of course, ensued. When it looked like Trever had the cat cornered he made grab for her and found nothing. Looking around he discovered Veena sitting on the bed, with the sock.

She looked highly pleased with herself.

"That can't be right..." he muttered. "I could have sworn..."

Not very well.

Tobias is a complete and utter mystery to me. I don't understand him. He's completely... selfless. I mean, I'd say it was because he's a Jedi, but dad's a Jedi, and he's not like that. Maybe he feels guilty about ... Or maybe he's just like that normally. I dunno.

Also, we don't have a Force Bond. Tobias makes them as easy as sneezing apparently, but we don't have one. Which is also strange.

He doesn't think he has to say he loves us.

He loves me.

I don't know why. I've been horrible to him. I nearly got him killed. Several times. I've tried to kill him. But he still loves me. Part of me wonders if it's because he loves Kale and sees me as just another part of him. But the other part of me says that he loves me for me.

He sees hope with us.



Patient: Trever Delvar
Partners: Kale Delvar, Tobias
Fandom: Star Wars, Ocs.
Word Count: 190
I have no idea what that means.

He'll never say. Or at least, I'm too scared to ask him.

But he'll always be there.

Unless he goes out and gets himself killed. If he does, I'll kill him.

Hey Tobias, I hope you read this one.

When I first met Tobias, I didn't like him. I didn't hate him because Kale didn't and generally we have the same feelings towards a person. But he made me jealous because I didn't want to share Kale. He was mine. But Kale loved him. And not like he loved me. He loved Tobias as a person outside of himself and me as a part of himself. Which I had never done before.. or felt before. I mean, I've had sex with others, but it's just been sex.

But Kale, he loves him and he didn't want to leave me out because he loves me to. Surprisingly, despite being the quiet one between the two of us, he's very good at instigating stuff. He got me to kiss Tobias. I don't know how he did it, but he did it. And I kissed him and knew what Kale found in him. It's not something that I can put into words though. I want to say it felt right. But that's not quite it.

It felt good though. Really good and I wanted it again. I know he was surprised when I kissed him. After all I'd been hostile to him up until that point. And continued to be hostile. I did betray him to the Sith to protect Kale. Not that it worked out very well. I'd have to say it failed miserably. Hurting all of us. Still... he didn't exactly turn me away. He didn't do it at all. He let me stay.

We well separated for a while. I had my own room and Kale and Tobias had the other. Kale was extremely clingy to Tobias at the time. I think because he was a like soul. They both suffer the same wound. Surprisingly I got lonely. And not just for Kale, but for Tobias too. I wanted to be with him. I missed him. Not like a friend though... I think that's when it happened. When I realized that I loved him.

I know my attachment to him isn't as strong as Kale's is, but I'm assuming that it'll grow over time. I still worry though, of him hurting Kale. I don't know if Kale worries about the same thing, but I know that he worries about that in regards to us.

Which is nice, I think.

Hrm.. Promise.

I promise to try and do good to you. Both of you.

I promise to try and not go Dark Side... again. To try and stay in the gray.

I promise to clean the litter box. Yes, I know she's my cat and I should clean it.

I promise to love you Tobias, for as long as I'm able to. And to not cheat on you.


Patient:Trever Delvar
Partners: Kale Delvar and Tobias Donn
Fandom: Star Wars OC
Word Count: 68

I'm not scared.

I don't hurt.

Yeah, I think I'm getting the hang of being an individual.

You don't need to worry.

Kale looks fine to me. He seems to be doing better even.

Yes. I want to be with you. Both of you.

It'll be okay. Really.



Patient: Trever Delvar
Fandom: Star Wars (OC)
Partners: Kale hidden_jedi & Tobias force_killer
words: 43

It's a bit of a threesome. Tobias gets up really early and drags me out of bed for some Force meditation exercises. Kale gets to sleep in a bit. He's been having trouble sleeping so Tobias wants him to at least have a little bit more time in bed.

The meditation is ... interesting. A connecting to the Force. Tobias keeps on trying (unintentionally) to form a Force Bond with me, but for some reason keeps on failing. Sometimes I wonder if I'm immune to them since Kale and I broke apart. Our Force bond was everything. It made us whole.

We do breakfast after that. Kale's not allowed to cook any more. Some reason he just utterly fails at it. I wonder if that's because we're becoming more individualistic. Sometimes Naldin will send over food. He's gotten the cooking gene. Since the family has moved into that compound he's been in charge of feeding everyone and he couldn't be happier. Breakfast is always ways fun though. We tease Tobias horribly, making him flustered. Darth Vina usually tries to get up on the table and eat with us. Sometimes I think she does it because she likes being picked up by the Force and dropped off the table. Kale and I take turns sitting on Tobias' lap or nibbling on his ear. Just silly things like that.

Afterwards we all sort of split up. I go over to the family compound for a while to help dad with the training of the little ones. Kale stays home. He has to. He's not allowed to leave the house. They're afraid Darth Nihilus will get his hands on Kale and that would be Bad. It's driving Kale crazy.

Dad comes over in the afternoon to work on lightsaber techniques. Both he and Tobias insist on Kale continuing to learn how to fight with one even if he doesn't want to.

We get free time once that's done. We'll harangue Tobias or just hang out with him. Sometimes we'll work in the workshop. If dad thinks it's safe Kale and I will go out for a little while. He has to stay with me and if we get even the slightest hint of Nihilus we have to PINpoint home. Kale loves those times. He's getting really stir crazy sometimes. I worry about him. Tobias does too. Of course Tobias worries about everyone.

Dinner's oft the same as breakfast, though sometimes we'll have it at the compound. Tobias usually ends up somewhat traumatized. Our little cousin Annalia has decided that she's in love with him and they're going to get married. She's four, so it's okay.

Then it's quiet time. We'll read or watch a vid, but mostly just be together. The three of us.

Things have been a lot better since Tobias actually told me he loved me. The bastard seems to think that saying it through the Force was good enough. But sometimes you just need to hear it out loud.

Force that's a routine. But I guess if you're training it makes sense.


Patient: Kale Delvar
Fandom Star Wars OC
Word Count: 512